I did NOT freak out – at least not in front of him

I was proud of myself.  When I caught him on the computer on an inappropriate site, I stayed calm.  I did NOT freak out.  I stayed amazingly calm.

Calm
I said a quick prayer and prayed I would know what to do.

What should I do?

  • I sent him to empty the trash, so I would have time to think.
  • He started apologizing profusely.
  • I listened for a minute and then…
  • I said, “Go take out the trash, we will talk later.”

I then checked the history, to see how long this had been going on.

  • The history had been cleared.
  • Bad news.  He is too darn smart.
  • This meant to me it was not a one time thing.
  • My heart sank and I prayed some more.

I met him outside where we could talk without his brothers hearing.

He explained a friend at school had told him about the site.  He was really sorry.

  • I said that I was sorry.
  • It is normal to be curious about sex.
  • But what he saw is not what sex is about.
  • Sex is about love and this was about lust.

We talked a bit more, but I said we would really talk that night after I had a chance to talk to Dad.

It was a busy night with a school play.  I didn’t really have time for this!

Calling home the troops!

I called Kyp and explained what was going on and that I wanted him home ASAP.  He came home right away and was able to crack the history on the computer.  Ha!  Dad is still smarter than son.  He was able to see that Harry had been on inappropriate sites 3 different times in the last month.  But that was it, nothing before that

I was relieved that we caught it fairly early, that it hadn’t been going on longer, but was still so sad and mad that it had happened.

Talking and deciding together

After the play we got the other boys in bed and had a long talk with Harry.

  • We were up front and explained that dad had found out it was more than one time. I didn’t want to set him up to lie to us.
  • We talked about why pornography is so bad and how it can be addictive.
  • He offered to lose computer privileges for a month.

I must explain that this is a boy who LOVES computers, he has taught himself programming languages, he is a total computer geek.  So I knew he wanted to stop when he offered NO computer for a month.

I felt like we handled it the best possible way.   I was trying to see the silver lining.  We caught it early, this would be a good learning experience.

Our next step was to secure our computers even better than before.

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